Thursday, December 23, 2010

At this hour

At this hour
I'm sitting in the office, alone.
Hours of running about with no time to breathe.
No one to share because they don't understand, tired to express because there is no solution.
Yes, I'm stress. I really am.
All I think about at night is priorities, who to call and who to meet the next day.
Appointments after appointments, complaints and dissatisfactions.
People are hard to please, everyone fighting for their own benefits.

Christmas is round the corner, I really wish to have a day of rest, a nice dinner with my family with wine and turkey.
But I don't feel Christmas this year, no time for God, no time for family and no time for friends
I gave cash as presents to my brother and my parents. They were happy but I felt horrible. 
Everyone is planning something for Christmas, I miss caroling and going to church. I miss going to the malls and checking out Christmas deco...I miss the Christmas tree at home.
This year, Mum refused to set up the tree, saying that it's too troublesome. 
Christmas night is without plan, I think Mum is trying to save money.

I had lunch with Mum the other day and for a moment, I look deep into her. I saw the lines around her eyes and realized how old she looks. I wish I could ask her to stop working and let me take care of her...but I couldn't...
One woman, a whole family. 
My heroin is she.

Christmas is near and I hope that my heroin can get a nice dress for herself and I hope that someone can ta pao food for me because I'm starving.

Sunday, December 12, 2010


I need some sparks in my life
My world has turned grey without a guide
Show me the purpose of my existence
Your plan for me throughout eternity

I need some sparks in my life
Because wine and food do not satisfy me
They made me hunger for more but never fill me
Only You, my Lord could complete me

I need some sparks in my life
A light from heaven to shine
To ignite this cold heart and make it warm
An eternal fire that will not be gone

I need some sparks in my life
To teach me how to live
Because very often I'm blended into the deep
Without realising the difference it made

I need some sparks in my life
To learn how to love and not to fight
Oh Lord, please send me your light
So that You and I could once again unite.