My feelings

Ever felt hard to mend back what you've once broken??Trying to fill in the gaps of uncountable misunderstandings and wishing that you could turn back time sometimes just to capture that moment of dispersion.. To her, I can't pretend as though nothing happen when it hurts inside and I can't fake it infront of you, acting as though everything is fine. Though I might change from time to time, to the better or the worse, there are elements that build the essence of me, the fact that I don't fake things up and I don't have a two face. I'll been waiting for so long for myself to totally put the grudge I have towards you aside and today I've learnt in my sunday school-to truely forgive with all your heart. I'm weak but through Him I'm strong..I hope that tomorrow when I see you, I could be free from the past..Free from the bondage of my hesitation of loving you, because I want to love you truely, whole heartedly as my friend, pure and without hesitation..that I could care for you from the bottom of my heart. I don't need to know whether you feel the same, that you ever felt we are distanced apart. For the times we spent I cherish, the bad times I choose to forget...I would make the first step to mend it back..I don't know where it'll bring us but this is where I'll start. Tonight, I pray to God to give me the courage to forgive a friend whole heartedly and to love her with all my heart. Not only to forgive but to forget and move on to what the future have installed for us. To him, I could not be in your shoes right now, tasting the pain you might be going through.. I could not fully understand how you are feeling right now, to drink from the cup you drank.. But everytime I think about you, my heart ache.. I think of you last night and the night before and many many nights to come.. There is no way at all that I could make it up to you. To reduce the pain for you or to heal your wounds...because every single step I want to take will be hurting you in another way. This is the least that I could do right now, to stop every steps that I used to take..to protect you in a way that is best for you and me. I'm sorry... let my tears accompany your sorrow and my sour heart accompany your bitterness. Tonight, I pray to God that he will be strong and to be able to achieve great heights once again, like he has always been-flying on great height. Amen.